Truly, in all reality, you are the only one who wants yourself to be comfortable. We all have a natural tendency to love comfort, just like how we love life. It is nothing selfish to want to live and be comfortable. However, comfort is really subjective. This subjectivity can make one feel that they are being very uncomfortable or working very hard when in reality the outside people don’t view them so or when in reality it is not so. The essence of this is largely due to fear that could arise out of anything from self-esteem, self-efficacy and the fear of putting effort. In my book “The Procrastinator’s Mind”, I discuss that procrastination essentially falls into these three buckets of fear.
Fear has a high correlation with procrastination. This is because when you fear something and you put yourself into something that you fear, you are working really hard according to you and you start expecting that the results should start coming as you are working very hard. However, for someone outside who doesn’t have a fear of that particular situation looks at you thinking that you are just scraping the surface in doing what is required to be done. Therefore, the outsider will look at your expectations of high results as unreasonable for the limited hard work that you are doing. Now, the more the things that you fear, the more the occasions when you think that you are working very hard and you deserve much more than what you’re getting.
Usually, it is evident for somebody who has already been in a person’s shoes to see that the person is not working hard enough. For example, when you see a kid not spending enough time with his books, you know that the kid is not working enough on his studies. This is because you’ve been there and done that and you know that the kid can do more. However, from the inside, it is very difficult for the kid himself to see that he is not working hard enough. This is why we see some common sayings like “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so you should do it”. It is a yardstick to measure yourself and push yourself to your max limit from the inside. Otherwise, from the inside, without the help of any coach or any external help, it is very difficult to see that you are not working hard enough.
Normally, when does an individual really push oneself? When:
- The individual has a deep desire to do something
- The individual has a coach/manager who is pushing him or her to do something or a situation that is pushing the individual or some sort of fear that is pushing the individual.
In the absence of the above two, people largely do not push themselves to their limits to max themselves because they go into the trap of thinking that they are working hard enough. To avoid going into a trap of thinking that you are working hard enough, you really have to depend on discipline to push oneself every day to achieve the maximum out of you. If not, sooner or later, the slippery slope of procrastination and laziness will come into your actions and will slowly slip into the slope of lesser than the best while you are still thinking that you’re working hard. The goal is to ensure that you are doing the best out of yourself every day. You might ask yourself, why should you do it? In fact, the counter is: why not? The will to do the best for oneself every day should come as naturally as the will to live and be comfortable.
Discipline is the only yardstick to do the best every day from oneself and not slip from the actual hard work in cases when you don’t have a natural deep desire to do something or a fearful situation. These situations are not uncommon; we very often do not have a natural deep desire to do something at all stages of our lives and towards everything in life.
Hope this post is helpful, thank you.
© Balivada, The Procrastinators Mind.